


Mistakes of a Trainwreck

by MissIronLadyIW



Category: British Actor RPF, Danish Actor RPF, Henry Cavill - Fandom, Hugh Dancy - Fandom, Mads Mikkelsen - Fandom, Original Work, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Beautiful, Beautiful Woman, Dark, F/M, Insecurities, Insecurity, Lessons, Low Self-Esteem, Moral Lessons, Multi, Older Man/Younger Woman, Original Story - Freeform, Sex Addiction, Trainwreck, Vindictive, sex addict
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-10-31 09:17:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10896306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissIronLadyIW/pseuds/MissIronLadyIW
Summary: Often, we judge people with the actions they take, the things they do, and the mistakes they make. We condemn them immediately without taking a deeper look at the reasons that pushed them to do such things. We forget that what we see, is only the tip of the iceberg. We refuse to understand them, and we only count and see their wrongs, forgetting their 'rights'.Nanette is a woman who desperately wanted to matter. Downtrodden and belittled her whole life, she came to believe that boys and men could give her life meaning. Hurt repeatedly, abused, and insecure. She uses sex as a coping mechanism and uses it as validation,  to feel attractive, wanted, and loved. It's an addiction to the power that comes from making someone want you. Addiction to the rush.'Loved', funny how the end results of every arrangement turn out the opposite. The men don't take her seriously, plays around with her, leads her on and discards her like trash after everything. Destroying her self-esteem over and over again, getting her stuck on the destructive path.As she starts to turn her life around step-by-step, will she stumble along the way and continue to create the same mistakes? or will she rise above it, and let her baggage go?





	1. ONE - Therapy

**A/N:** This story, is a little different from the usual stories I wrote. This will be one of the darkest I've written. I seriously can hear Hugh Dancy speaking. LOL!

More characters would be introduced as the story progresses. In the meantime, here are the first two:

 #TriggerWarning

**Cast:**

OFC- Nanette Marchesi Stepanov  
Hugh Dancy - The Psychiatrist

 

**_ONE_**  
Therapy

"So tell me what brings you here Ms Stepanov?" the handsome doctor began, as he scribbled some notes on a piece of paper. He sat opposite me, looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"I... I do not know... perhaps to help myself? Is that even possible?" I told him, in fact, I doubt that this therapy thingy works, but I took the chance because I was desperate to turn my life around.

"Yes... it's possible, that is why you are here, wanting to find out how." he then leant in, re-adjusted his glasses and looked at me directly in the eyes. "So tell me about you?"

"What do you wanna know? I mean, I don't know where to begin, or what am I suppose to tell you..."

"Things you are comfortable with..."

"Like?"

"Where were you originally from?" he began his question, as a starter.

"I am originally from Florence, Italy. My family moved here a few years back... " I said, recalling how long ago it was.

"You carry a Russian name? and you're technically Italian, why is that?"

"My father is half Russian, my mother is Italian."

"I see, How was life there, compared to London?"

"Well, let's just say I find the grass greener here than over there..."

"Ah, I see, any other specific reasons why you moved here?"

"Education I guess?"

"Education... which school were you from? If you don't mind me asking?" 

"Alleyn's..." I told him, mentioning the prestigious day school.

"I see, how did you find the environment over there?"

I sigh, recalling all the terrible experiences from both schools. 'Children will be children' they say, however, once the damage it's done, it can never be undone. "I..." I hesitated for a while and examined his face if there were traces of judgement. "It wasn't easy..."

"And why is that?" he said, his interest piqued from the sound of his voice.

"What children do... they hurt you for being different..." I stated and tried to make myself look unaffected. 

"Did you experience the same thing while you were in Florence?"

"Sadly, yes... It was as if nothing has changed, the same old story goes. I got severely bullied, and it took a great hit on my self-esteem. Are there any other questions?" I told him, as I was not really comfortable to talk about my time during Sixth form. But I didn't have a choice, I knew he will continue to dig deeper.

"Would you say, that your previous experience contributed to your current problem?"

I paused for a while, thinking of how I would answer him. If I were to say no, then this session will be cut short, and if I say yes, he will continue to probe. I knew the reason why I am in this psychiatric clinic, it was to help myself. However, I didn't expect things to be a little more personal.

"Yes..."  I told him the truth, after all, 'lying' wouldn't help, as I would have wasted my money paying for this session.

"Ms. Stepanov, why are you here today?" he asks again, thiss time rephrasing his earlier question.

"To seek help..."

"To seek help with what exactly?" he says as he began writing things on his clipboard.

I knew he was waiting for me to admit it myself. "With my problem..."

"And what is your problem?" he readjusts his glasses.

"Depression, insecurity, low self-esteem and addiction..." I admitted.

"Addiction to what exactly?"

"Love... is the nicest way to call it. Sex would be something else, it comes along with it..."

"So you tell me that you're a love/sex addict?"he scribbled it on his notes.

"Not exactly doctor... I'm not a sex addict, no, if you would let me explain myself."

"Go ahead..."

I began."I'm addicted to attention a man gives, I love the way a man lavishes me with it. It makes me feel beautiful, it makes me feel special, it makes me feel 'wanted'. Sex is just a bonus. I like the feeling 'it' gives me. "

"So you like feeling validated?" he asked, and paused for a while "Let me ask you something, and I need you to be honest with it."

"Yes? what is it?" I asked nervously, knowing this would be another thing that is personal.

"Did a man ever lose his interest in you when you don't give into to his wishes, let's say, sex?"

I paused for a while, knowing the painful truth. I've let myself be used and manipulated repeatedly in the past by men, and I hate myself for doing so. "Yes... repeatedly..." I looked down sadly.

"Does their treatment change after you give them what they want?"

I nodded as a response. It was as if he was making me see clearly how stupid I have been. 

"Like what? after three dates?"

I chuckled, some men had their three date rule. "Yes..."

"I have another question for you? Did you ever enjoy sex with these men?"

I felt astounded with how directly he put it. I paused and thought for a while, some I enjoyed, some I didn't. Mostly I did not, but it didn't stop me from chasing them like there is a lacking supply of men. "No, not all the time..."

"And that didn't stop you from chasing them?"

"Yes..."

"I see..." he then closes his notes and looks at me directly. "I know where your problem lies but are you ready to work on it? the process would be a painful one, and there would be obstacles along the way..."

I looked at him full of conviction. There was no turning back. "Yes..."

 

 


	2. TWO - In Desperation

**A/N:** Chapter 2 is up, this will have a strong sexual content, so beware. 

OFC- Nanette Marchesi Stepanov  
The Psychiatrist - Hugh Dancy  
The Stranger - Tom Hiddleston

**TWO**

_In Desperation_

I sighed in resignation as I entered my small apartment. I threw the keys on the ceramic bowl that lay atop the console table and closed then locked the door behind me after. I was tired from work, and all I wanted to do on a Friday night was sit in front of the tv and chill. Perhaps watch some movies or sitcoms.

However, much to my chagrin, it was the bloody lifestyle news that came up first, once I pressed the remote. The news was something so unpleasant, that it made me want to throw something on the screen.

_"In fashion and lifestyle news today, Tyrone Van Allan, director, and heir to a Van Allan Enterprise announced his engagement today to Vonnie Kauffman."_

I quickly turned off the tv and threw the remote down the sofa. I watched it bounced back up and down until it finally lost its momentum.

It was then that it all sunk into me. It broke my heart that my ex, Tyrone was getting engaged to someone else. I knew I wasn't exactly over him. Memories came flooding back in, his insults, his manipulation, and his betrayal. It was so painful that it made me cry, and get angry at the same time. I wanted to kill myself, but I could never bring the blade to cut my skin. No, I was afraid of the physical pain it may bring. 

I suddenly remembered the last time I saw him, it was during our break-up. He told me all the meanest things. To put it simply, he told me that he wanted to be with someone else more accomplished and with a good family background. Something that I wasn't. 

Who was I compared to Vonnie Kauffman? she was a graduate of the prestigious Bath University and was top of her class, she works as a high paid executive in a medical firm, is an heiress and comes from a long lineage of a well-known family, with a strong social standing.

And here I was, Nanette Marchesi Orlov, I neither have beauty or brains nor riches and status, no, I have nothing to be proud of. I have nothing to be exact. I am nothing, as what Tyrone had made me feel. My family and I were immigrants, I am of mix heritage, and I have a big bust. That's all there was about me, and that's how my ex-beau puts it.

I was desperate and tired of crying and feeling sorry for myself. No, I have to do something, and that should be now! In desperation, It was then, that I found myself doing the same thing that I usually do, however, this time, it would be different, and this time, I'll try to be detached as possible. 

**********

The classy jazz bar was the wrong place to go for a hook-up. I wanted to smack myself for even coming here at this place. It was classy and opulent, with its interiors, and patrons dressed to the nines. I myself has dressed  appropriately, so I blended in well. 

"A margarita please..." I told the bartender who immediately left with a nod.

I looked around the place and found myself regretting ever coming here at the bar, I know I would not be able to get a man here to sleep with and satiate me. But I was too much of a coward to go into a dark club with loud and pumping music, full of booze and alcohol, where my unattractiveness will not be seen and they'll agree to sleep with me. No, it was just never my scene.

"Why would a 'beautiful' lady be by herself on a Friday night?" a deep voice said beside me. 

I chuckled to myself, knowing that I was far from beautiful, and the only reason men flocked me was because I was easy, broken,  'have daddy issues' and nice to toy with. I tried diverting myself from the belief back then, but that's how most men made me feel after everything, it was how my ex-beau saw me and labelled me.

I turned to face him, and my mouth almost hangs agape, as I found a very handsome man, seated beside me, trying to pick me up. I didn't want to delay this any further, I just wanted to get down to it as soon as possible.

"Well, that's simple... It's to satiate her appetite..." I whispered, and did my best to give a seductive smile. 

The man's eyes widened upon hearing my reason, and how straightforward it sounded. Most girls did beat around the bush, I don't want that right now.

He chuckled, "Well, that's surprising... hehe... I didn't expect that."

"So you're place or mine?"

He gives me a devilishly handsome smile, as he offered his hand for me to take.

**********

This handsome stranger captured my lips into a bruising kiss, my legs locked around his waist as we both landed on the soft mattress. 

In one swift motion, he grabs the hem of my dress, and pulls it up in one go, leaving me in my knickers.

"Lace... hmmm... I like..." he whispers, the sound reverberating in my neck. Turning me one further.

We quickly ripped each other's clothes off, revealing his well-toned body. I couldn't be more thankful that I ended hooking with this man. He wasted no time to pay attention to my large breast. Kneading and sucking it, as if it was something tasty. The sensation made my toes curl and my nipples harden.  A moan escaped my lips after, as my hands slid down across his head, exploring his blonde hair.

He then slides himself down, trailing soft kisses down my body, and then into my womanhood where he teased and tortured me endlessly.

He pushes, licks, and sucks my sensitive core, poking his tongue in and out of me, as my breathing got heavier. His eyes looking up at me, the expression on my face, turning him on, as he continued his ministrations non-stop.

His tongue continued to flick over, as he brought in two of his fingers in my opening and drove it in and out.

"Oh fucck! that's so good" I let out in ecstasy.

My hips start to rock, as he pleased me with his mouth and fingers. It was as if my body had a mind of its own, my hips moved faster along with his mouth and fingers. 

"Ohhh... Ohhh! I'm going to come!" I let out. 

My body and hips buck up, as he continues to please me, while my body start to shake, showing the intense sensations I was starting to feel. I ride out my orgasm until I finally reached it, as my legs stiffened and my toes curled.

"That felt great..." I whispered weakly, as I pushed him away gently, trying to catch my breath and letting my body calm down at the same time. 

He then smiles at me gently. "Glad that I was able to make you feel that way..."

Not wasting any time, I gave him a short kiss before lowering my waist over his long and thick hardness, and slowly rock my hips, grinding on his hard member. 

"Mmmm..." he moaned, and closed his eyes, obviously please with the sensation I was giving him. He then turns me over and goes on top of me instead.

Our bodies slowly, and rhythmically move against each other,  every inch of him, sliding in and out of me, with long deep thrusts. The feeling of having him inside me all the way was completely satisfying.

He leans closer to kiss me passionately, which surprises me, as this was a very intimate gesture during sex while moving together, not even the men I've slept with in the past did this for me, no matter how much I felt for them.

"No..." I quickly move my face away, not wanting it, but instead, both his hands cup my cheek, and gave a deep bruising kiss, showing how much he wanted me. 

After that long, passionate kiss, he then pulls away, as we both try to catch out breaths. He then traces my body with his hands, exploring its curves, while he takes a biting into my neck,  kissing and nipping my shoulder, ear, and neck, as we continue to rock together.

The thrusting gets harder and faster, filling the room with the sound of our bodies, slapping against each other. 

Both of us held on to each other tightly, wrapped in each other's arms as the pounding continues. He kissed me again, and this time, it was harder and aggressive, as the rocking gets faster, and our panting heavier. 

My eyes closed, as my walls tightened "~I... I'm going to reach soon..." I let out.

"Go ahead..." he whispers, as his mouth curved into a naughty grin.

"Come with me..." I whispered.

He replies with a smile, sweat beading his brow. I could sense that he was right at the edge as well. 

I close my eyes, as my body shakes and I moan out loud, finally reaching my climax. "~Oh yes!! that's it! oh gosh..." I screamed.

He chuckles, as he soon followed after, finally reaching the peak,  I felt the warmness inside me, over and over, as he still continued to thrusts. I was on a pill, so it was no problem for me. 

Our orgasm slowly rides down, he stays inside me for a minute and held me tight. He kisses me quickly before using the energy he had left to lay next to me. 

**********

I waited for the stranger to be completely asleep, before I quickly got dressed, and left the house. Not that he would care I believe. I knew what happened next once a man is done, he is completely done. I am just doing him the favour by leaving,  besides that, I am no way facing the rejection the next day, no. I have got a lot of things in mind, and I can not take another rejection.

I take another glance at his handsome face, I did not regret what took place tonight. I'm just afraid once the euphoria wears off, then I'm back to reality.

With one last look, I closed his bedroom door and left his place.

 **A/N:** I'll be doing some soft editing soon, as I may have made some grammatical errors. Hope you enjoyed that one, don't forget to vote if you did,


	3. THREE - Next Session

**A/N:** Chapter 3 is up, there will be more characters added as the story progresses.

OFC- Nanette Marchesi Stepanov  
The Psychiatrist - Hugh Dancy  
The Stranger - Tom Hiddleston  

_**THREE** _

Next Session

"Sometimes, we need to go back, in order for us to move forward." my doctor said, starting our new session.

"That doesn't make sense. We are told to let go and move on, aren't we?" I reasoned.

"That's true, but you won't be able to let go if you won't resolve, and make peace with some underlying issues regarding your past."

"Huh? And how am I supposed to do that? Digging up mistakes? That sounds painful..." I said, as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"True, but something painful can turn into something beautiful in time..."

I chuckled. "Must you put it so positively?"

He smiled and began to open his notes. "So how was your week?"

I smiled sadly. "Quite eventful actually, my ex-beau just announced his engagement and well, that was heartbreaking."

"What did you do about it?"

"I slept with someone..." I confessed and told him inwardly. "I know... that was stupid, but I was desperate..." I knew I needed help, and this was one of my problems.

"I understand Ms.Stepanov... I am not here to judge you... we all make mistakes..." he assured and smiled at me kindly.

"Thanks..."

"So let me ask about your ex, are you over him? you sound like you're really affected when you heard about his engagement."

"No, not exactly." I shook my head.

"Can you name some of the positive things or the impact he had towards you, that made you still feel for him until this day?"

I paused and thought for a while. Positive? I tried to think hard. He was handsome, he was rich, and he made me feel beautiful, special, and important. But he made me feel very insecure as well. Something that I had so much craved for.

"Well, I don't know. He was handsome, he was rich, and he paid a lot of attention to me in the beginning, he made me feel very beautiful and special. What type of woman wouldn't fall?" I reasoned.

"You said 'in the beginning', what happened?" he asked, as he shifted from his seat, and leant in, interested to hear my story.

"I... Well, after a while in the relationship, things began to change. He paid less attention to me, compared me to other women, he complimented and flirted with them in front of me. He made me feel jealous, small, and insecure." It was then that I realised, I've been spending my time being obsessed with the wrong person. "Oh my gosh... I can't believe I only realised this now, it's so painful." I declared, and couldn't help but cry. Cry about stupidity.

He then got up from his seat and reached for the tissue box that lay on the coffee table, passing  it to me kindly. I took a few and wiped my mascara tears. "I'm sorry" I let out timidly.

"It's alright Ms.Stepanov... We've all been there and done that. We chase for love, affection, and attention from people who don't even give them. We chase for people who never cared for us. We waste our time and attention on them. We all get angry at ourselves once it sinks in, and we realise the mistakes we've made, and why it took so long for us to realise it." he assured me, as if he understood where I was coming from. Which I do hope he really does, and not because I'm paying him to do so.

I nodded at his wise words whilst wiping my tears.

"My question to you is- what made you stay for so long? I need you to be honest with yourself..."

I thought for a while and realised that the reason all boiled down to my insecurity. "I... well because I felt that losing him is like admitting defeat... it's like saying that I couldn't hold a guy of high calibre... I don't know." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Ms. Stepanov, who is saying this? who was making you feel this way? where is this coming from?"

I sighed, as I recalled my past. "I..." I stopped, because recalling all those things were painful. But I felt relief after sharing them with someone. " When I was young, I don't even wear showy clothes, nor flirt. But my parents, they called me a 'whore', and a 'slut'  every time I put on makeup, doll up or just simply talk to boys.  It's really painful and difficult to deal with. And in school, well let's just say they made me feel worst about myself."

"Did you believe them?" he asks.

"Believe who?"

"Your parents? Your classmates?"

I smiled sadly, realising that I actually did and its results were sad . 

" Yes... I believe that I did.  I believe them when they said that I was ugly, which turned me into a 'slut' just to get attention and affection from a man. I slept with men and chased after them, just to feel loved. I came to a point where a realised that being a 'good child' will not make my parents stop their 'verbal attacks. I came to a point where I realised, getting a man's attention made me feel beautiful and special. Having that was like proving my bullies wrong that I was ugly and unwanted.  It made up for the affections and attention I didn't receive while I was growing up." I admitted, and he nodded in response.

"You went through a horrible thing Ms. Stepanov. You must keep in mind from now on that what other people told you before was not your fault. It never was, and never will be. The problem was that they kept telling you such things, that remained an imprint on you.  In result, you ended up doing those negative things." He said cordially and looked at me with kindness in his eyes.

I smiled at him and looked down. Oh, how hearing those words of his would've helped me in the past! If I only received 'encouragement' no matter how little back then, things would've turned out differently. But there was none at all. 

"Let me tell you a fact Ms. Stepanov, this is actually proven by a study." 

"Which is?"

"When a parent verbally wounds her child, whatever that parents said turns out to become a self-fulfilling prophecy most of the time. I don't agree with it, and it doesn't matter whether it's the heat of the moment or what. Nothing good comes out of it!"

I nodded, it felt so good hearing that this wasn't all my fault.

"Now this doesn't affect the minds and actions of ALL women, but the parent-daughter bond is so important and intricate, that a wound this deep can cause rapid reverberations throughout a young woman's mind to the point where it's wholly damaging to her psyche." he continued stating his facts.  "Damage is done, but it never meant that you can turn your life around."

I leant in. "What do I have to do then?" I asked.

"Learn to love yourself... remove all those negative things in your head, that was imprinted on you bit by bit. I know easier said than done, and it sounds a bit vague. But you'll figure it out. Just take note that be beautiful means to be yourself. You need to learn from your mistakes and accept yourself. "

"Huh? well, how am I supposed to do that?"

"What do you love doing Ms.Stepanov?"

I smiled and chuckled, " Dolling myself up? At times, it's not because I want attention, no,  I couldn't exactly care less, the reason is just secondary...  Truth is, I just like to look good for myself. Myself only! I mean, I still doll myself up without anyone around, especially when I am at home." I said truthfully.

"Well then, that's actually another positive thing. I encourage you to continue doing that. Any other things that make you feel happy?"

"Playing the piano? Ballet? Singing?"

"So you play the piano? Sing and do ballet! wow, how good are you?"he asked, with genuine interest.

"I got an acceptance to study at Juilliard... I had a choice whether it'd be piano or do opera." I recalled poignantly. It was so overjoyed when I opened the entrance letter I received that time. Though, I did not pursue it. "As for ballet, I was asked to quit. And when I didn't want, I got an unwanted injury." I remembered the incident where I was 'accidentally' pushed down the stairs after a heated argument. It injured my leg, that made me unable to dance properly again. "But don't worry, it's not like I still really really want to do them..." I said. There's just no opportunity for me to do that craft anymore. I neither have a piano nor can even dance. Though, I still attempted to do contemporary ballet occasionally, joining contemporary dance studios... but it wouldn't last long, as my injury pains, and personal problems come in. Often hindering me from joining practises.

"You sound like you liked ballet more... ever had dreams of becoming a Prima Ballerina?" he asked.

"Yes of course! Haha! every ballerina had that dream. But I was more of a contemporary than classical."

"I see, what made you stop? I'm sure your injury healed after a while?"

"Well, I feel pain when I point my toes and jump on my injured leg, I mean I did try to come back, but I had to stop because of my previous injury."

My doctor looked at me sadly. "Well then, are there any other things that you are passionate about?"

"Writing?"

"So what do you write about?"

"Just fiction? oh you know, things that help me escape? I mean when I write, it's like a door to another world. I feel in control and peaceful.

He then smiles. "Continue doing that..." he then pulled out a small card from the drawer on the side, and handed it to me.

I reached for the card and read it. "A neurologist?" 

"Yes, why don't you go see the neurologist for your leg?" he suggested.

**********

After my finishing my session with my psychiatrist. I headed for the nearby make-up shop and browse through an array of make-up. It was an early weekend afternoon, therefore I decided to spend my time outside, rather than sulk at home crying and feeling sorry for myself. Other than that, I would have to refill some of my cosmetics, and the colours I was running out with.

"Nans? is that you?" A voice greeted me from behind, calling me by my nickname. It was none other than the store owner who knew me so well. "What happened to you? I haven't seen you for so long!" she says, glad to see me. 

I smiled and gave her a hug. It was true that I haven't been exactly out in a while. I often went straight home after work, and on weekends, I just stay at home and sulk recently.

"Oh, you know... caught up with work?" I lied, I had ample time to go out, I just wasn't in the mood. "I need to refill some of my colours, anything new by the way?" I quickly changed the topic, as I grabbed the small shopping basket. Everything she sold was 'MAKEUP For Ever', therefore it was easy to choose. 

"Ah! Of course, they're over here!"she says, guiding me to another row of cosmetics.

After half an hours time, I got out of the makeup store with a new look. The store owner offered to do a touch up on my incomplete look, but what happened was she redid the whole thing, giving me a full makeup look.  Of course, I walked out confidently, knowing that I don't need to hide when I see an ex, or someone I know, because I look good enough, I think... Well, I'll definitely still hide when I see my ex, Tyrone and his new fiancee. 

I continued walking down the street when I saw a poster about the ballet they were showing in West End, called 'Giselle'. I did think of watching it but never seemed to find the time. I was about to turn around when I saw a man in the poster's glass reflection, who looked a little familiar to me. My eyes widened in realisation finally knowing who he was.

I turned around and flinched when I saw who it was. His mouth curved into a handsome sinister smile, as he sauntered closer to me. 

"Well, look who's here... remember me?"

Of course, I remember him so clearly. He was none other than the stranger from the jazz bar, that I had slept with.

 **A/N:** I'll be doing some soft editing, as I might have grammatical errors. The next chapter is NSFW. Just saying ;)

 


	4. FOUR - Round Two

**A/N:** Chapter 4 is up! and it's NSFW

**FOUR**   
_Round Two_

I didn't know how I ended up in the stranger's flat all over again. But when his lips landed on mine earlier, I was so distracted that I didn't notice that we had already arrived here. Him, giving me bruising kisses while taking our clothes off in the process. 

I promised myself to behave, but this man was just so hard to resist. Besides that reason, I do need a  sex, I needed a bit of physical intimacy because it made me feel beautiful and wanted. It made me feel sexy.

The stranger then carried me to the couch and lay me there. 

"I find it better to look at you in the daylight" he whispers, as his hands caressed my muscular legs, that have been due to ballet.  "You must be a ballet dancer..." he assumes, and I nodded.

His mouth curves into a sinister smile again, "Then you must be really flexible..." he says, as he grips my thighs and pulls me towards him. He took off the remaining clothing I have but left my flats that had a lace up until my ankles, making it look like a ballet shoe.

"Let's leave it on there, shall we?" he says. I knew what he wanted. 

He then raises one leg of mine upwards, stretching it back with no problem until it touched my shoulders, and leant in as his large arousal entered me. 

He took slow and long strokes, teasing me. "I'm going to touch you, and I'm going to touch you all over..." he said, as his hands slid up to my breast, and kneaded them. 

He had the look of a predator, about to savour its prey.  Enjoying the tightness that my walls provided, I moaned and squirm as he picks up the pace. He touches my thighs, asking me to spread my other leg open, a little more.  I draw my other leg up, and lift it upward effortlessly, looking like I folded myself in half.  He pounds away, enjoying the view and variety of squeezes that my walls gave him.  As I couldn't control the spasms.

However, midway he pulls out, which suddenly got me worried. I groaned in disappointment, but he quickly flipped me around the couch. My front body, against the fabric of the sofa. He re-enters me from behind and nips the skin of my back. 

"For a while, you must've thought I would stop..." he whispers.

"Yes... you tease!" I exclaimed.

He chuckles, as his hand squeezed in underneath my body, and pushed its way down my core. Oh boy, I am in big trouble. He continued pumping me from behind, whilst his hands rub my sensitive core. Doubling the pleasure I was feeling. I was not going to last long. The grip on his other hand tightened on my hips. I bucked upward, and no longer tried to move anymore, as I wanted to savour the sensation of almost reaching climax.

He reaches oblivion the same time as me. I felt the first spasm of his arousal, as he began unloading inside of me. With a primal grunt, he releases a second one causing me to gasps, at it hits my still very sensitive spot. He throbs inside of me and I completely loved it.

The shots diminished and he ceases pumping. I lay motionless and was breathing hard due to the euphoria that I was feeling. 

"That was great!" I said against the fabric of the sofa.  I was a complete mess, my hair was a mess,  my makeup that was done professionally was now a mess, and my lower body was soaking of his and my release.  

"Mmmm..." he grunted against the skin of my back, and bit on it, marking me. 

"Wha---at?!"

"They won't see it..." he says, referring to my back. It was then that I realised people won't see my back at all. I was still in trance, which is why it is hard for me to think straight.

I then felt his manhood harden once again, behind my back. I couldn't believe he was ready for round two that fast. However, I don't know if I was still in shape for round two, so I tried to move away.

"Oh, no. no. no, I'm not yet done with you..." he holds me in place and whispers into my ear.  I was in big trouble. 

 

**********

 

It was four o' clock in the afternoon when I woke up from the short nap I had fallen into. At first, I didn't recognise my surroundings, but then, after a while, I soon realised that this was the stranger's place. 

I looked at the handsome stranger beside me, who still lay asleep. I couldn't bother waking him up, so I do what I always did; leave before he even realises. I carefully untangled myself from his grasp and picked up my discarded clothes on the floor. As usual, I always told myself to leave first to save myself from 'awkward conversation' and of course, 'rejection'.  

As I began putting on my clothes, I suddenly felt strong arms wrap around my waist. 

"Leaving so soon? stay for dinner?" he whispers, as his nipped my earlobe. 

It sounded tempting, It felt nice to get invited to dinner by a handsome stranger, it felt as if that there is a possibility of a something more. However, I made too many mistakes in the past, and I know how these often ends.

"I... I'm sorry, but I have to go..." I said, keeping my back turned, I didn't want to face him, it would be harder to leave.

"I do not know your name?" he asks.

I think twice, should I tell him or not? "I have to go..." I said softly, as I untangled myself from him, not bothering to answer his question and walked straight out of the door.

**A/N:** I'll be doing some soft editing, as I might have grammatical errors.

 


	5. When the Past Haunts You

**A/N:** Chapter 5 is up! A new character comes in here! Oh yes! I finally added a name to the Psychiatrist!

Cast:

OFC- Nanette Marchesi Stepanov

The Psychiatrist (Dr.Hartmann) - Hugh Dancy  
The Stranger - Tom Hiddleston  
The Neurologist (Dr. Seighart) - Mads Mikkelsen  
Dr. Oliver Vernon-Fullerton - Henry Cavill

 

**FIVE**   
_When the Past Haunts You_

The Neurologist clinic was a very comfy place. It has coffee coloured walls, a soft sofa with mismatched pillows, which surprisingly blended well with the couch and surroundings. On the side is an 'essential oil diffuser' which emits the scent of eucalyptus, and the smell somehow put me at ease. The receptionist was nice and friendly, and the doctor? Well... I haven't met him yet.

"Ms. Stepanov?" A deep voice called, coming from the direction of the doctor's office. I looked up to find a silverfox, wearing dark blue scrubs, and a stethoscope was draped over his shoulders. Judging from his appearance, he might have just finished his rounds at the wards.

He gave me a cordial smile, before motioning for me to follow him inside the room. Pulling out a chair opposite his table for me, he then gestured for me to take a seat.

I couldn't help but smile to myself, glad that I didn't dress up like a 'hobo' for my doctor's appointment. If I knew he was this handsome, I would've put in more effort. Well, at least my dress looked 'sultry' enough.

 I shook my head at the thought... there I was again, acting like a smitten 'school girl'.

"So what can I do for you today?" he began.

"Dr. Hartmann recommended you to me..." I said, mentioning to him about my psychiatrist.

"Yes, he told me... so how can I help you with your problem?"

"My lower leg has this injury... every time I jump, it causes some pain..." I explained.

"How long has this been?" he enquired, as he began to take notes.

"Uhhmmm... since the beginning of sixth form..."

"And... you're only having it checked now?" The doctor's brows furrowed worriedly, as I mention my condition to him. He then asked me to immediately get up, and proceed to the examination bed. Calling for the female nurse, she then kindly asked me to stretch the injured leg, and pull the skirt up. 

"This might be a little uncomfortable for you, so I have a female nurse to assist me..." he said, as he told about the process, and that he would have to touch my bare leg. 

I then did what I was instructed to do, and pulled a part of my skirt up. If not for the nurse, we would look awkward, as our position looked a little compromising. His hands were firm and gentle, as began to touch my injured leg. He started pressing from my upper thighs, and then downwards. It felt soothing and at the same time, it was turning me on. Never did a man, even once, touch me as gentle as that. 

"Hmmm... you were a ballerina?" he mentioned. 

I look at him with awe, how did he know that? Not once did I ever mention it to him during our conversation! Or did Dr. Hartmann said it to him by chance?

"What makes you say that?" I asked, instead of admitting it.

"Your toes... and the muscles surrounding your hip are tight..." he said, pointing out his observation about my hips, and of course, my wrecked toes.

Before I can say anything, a numbing pain made me wince, causing me to jerk my leg back. He glanced at me seriously, as he pressed the injured area once more.  

I sighed in relief, as he gently let go of my leg and then turned to the nurse, instructing her with something.

"What's wrong?"

"It's either nerve or bone damage. We're going to do a scan on your leg, if the damage is on the bones, I would have to send you to the orthopedist."

"Is it something serious?!" I asked worriedly, my brows furrowed. 

He looked at me and nodded. 

**********

After they finished with the X-Ray, I was told to go back home and wait for a week, until the neurologist calls me back for the next appointment. 

So for the rest of the week, I spent my days thinking negatively and being overly paranoid. I was afraid of not being able to walk or run again. 

Though I loved dancing, I was surprised that I am less concerned with the issue of me being able to dance again and instead, more worried about walking and running. Second, for some odd reason, I was thankful that I somehow distracted me from my heartbreak. I wasn't thinking about Tyrone and his new fiance. Screw them, I have other important matters to worry about, and it's about myself. I smiled, finding this as an achievement. But my brows furrowed once again when I looked at my leg. I needed to stop worrying or I'll end up going 'cray cray' before my next appointment.

By the end of the week, I found myself exhausted. I headed straight home and decided on ordering food on the internet. Enjoying my meal whilst watching a movie was a great idea. 

But I soon realised the deafening silence. Loneliness enveloped me. I wished for the oblivion of alcohol and sleep. Remembering that I had at least one bottle of red wine in the kitchen, I got up from the couch and headed to the kitchen. One drink and I would all feel better. I'd start feeling sleepy and I know I'll have no choice but to head to bed by then. Much to my disappointment, the wine bottle barely had enough for one glass. I sighed in resignation but my disappointment quickly dissipated when I heard my doorbell ring. 

I headed straight to my front door and answered it. The delivery man handed me paper bags of the food I ordered, and he quickly left after I paid him the money.

I opened the takeaway and placed it on top of the coffee table. The wine followed after, as I poured the rest of it on the goblet.  

I sat back down on the couch, and pressed the remote, turning on the TV.  Breakfast at Tiffany's was playing on the telly. Though I have watched the movie countless of times, it was still one of my old time favourites. And of course, my fashion icon 'Audrey Hepburn' is in it. She was beautiful as she was classy.

Classy... hmm... that's what I always wanted to be when I was young. but it was something I was far from. They often say that when it comes to a dating-- a classy woman will attract a nice gentleman, whereas a tramp will probably attract a douche bag. And of course, due to my past actions and the men I had been with, I am classified as a  'tramp'.

I laughed as I lay my head back down. I did decide to stop on the 'self-pity' part a long time ago but decided on examining my life, and how it turned out. My parents never really thought me a thing or two about life. So I practically just went out into the world, ignorant of so many things, especially how to deal with men. I know it was in the past, that I should stop blaming them. But sometimes, the bitterness I felt just resurfaces.

I know was partly to blame for my problems. But what can one do, when nobody taught you anything or when no one guided you throughout.  Moreover, they called me a slut. 

Slut. I laughed at the word and suddenly the conversation I had with my psychiatrist - Dr Hartman, crosses my mind. What my parents said did become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I was desperate for someone to prove to me that I am worthy of love.  But instead, I became the girl who was taken advantage of, manipulated and used for a good time, numerous times.

I became the girl who wakes up in the morning, only to discover that the man I fell asleep with snuck out in the middle of the night.

I wasn't sleeping around to have a meaningless one-night stand. I was just searching for passion and connection; someone to make me feel loved and recognise my own beauty.

I was desperately searching for someone to make me feel wanted and desired. All I was hoping for is someone to call me the following week and ask me out on a date, without the intention of sex. Someone who has the decency to respect me as a person and prove to me that I am worth getting to know.

I'm not saying that it's a man's responsibility to show me that because _**one cannot love someone else until you love yourself**_. But what happens if you don't even love yourself, or don't even know how to? 

I took the goblet of wine and drank it all in one go. I realised that I had just finished the food, but still not sleepy. I might feel a little exhausted but I still don't feel like getting a shut-eye.

Seeing my reflection in the mirror. I noticed that I still haven't changed from my office clothes. The makeup I've put on earlier was still there, and just needs a bit of retouching. Deciding that I need more than just one glass, I headed back inside my room, then sat opposite my vanity mirror and began retouching.

I was going to the bar to grab a drink, play some pinballs or darts and head home. Yes, that was what I'm going to do!

********* 

I entered the bar, inhaling the familiar scent of fried chips and old craft beer. The bar was dark enough to make me feel like it was midnight outside, that everyone else was sleeping or inside the bar, drinking and playing billiards. I saw the machine and exchanged my cash for coins to use on the pinball machine. Afterwards, I ordered a beer and made my way through the crowd of people towards the game in the back.

I fed a coin into the machine and got my hands ready on the side, watching the shiny silver balls rack into place. I shot a ball up and over the field, flipped the levers, and nudged the machine with my hips.

A man or two came and talked to me; I was used to the way men seemed unable to resist a woman playing pinball by herself. But after a number of games, I felt someone was watching me. It was as if the skin on the back of my neck was being caressed. Drinking my beer, I turned around and saw the most unexpected person. Dr Seighart was sitting on the bar stool across the room.  He seemed to be with some of his fellow doctors, as his companions looked a little familiar to me. I've been to the hospital numerous of times, of course, I could recognise some faces, though I may not know their name.

Dr Seighart smiled at me and raised his glass slightly in salute. He looked at me appreciatively before taking a sip of his beer and continued talking to his companions.

I was wearing a sharp, runched-waist jumpsuit, which hinted the curves of my body, and black pumps with gold outlines. 

Though I didn't really stand out in a way, as everyone inside the bar looked like they just came from work, wearing their office wear,  I still looked desirable enough, judging from the stolen glances I saw from men.

I finished the game after a few minutes or so, and walked over to where Dr Seighart was seated, trying to keep my face from breaking into a 'schoolgirl smile'.  The day after tomorrow is the day my next appointment is scheduled. He would be telling me the verdict and I hope it was something positive. However, I found myself glad to see him and hadn't even realised it.

"Dr Seighart..." I beamed at him.

"Good Evening Nans..." he greeted back.

I looked to the friends at his side, one looked like he was as old as him, with salt and pepper hair with blue eyes, and the other, younger, with dark hair and blue eyes as well. They both looked as attractive as Sieghart, especially the younger man. The older one looked at me cordially, while the younger one, though handsome, made me feel uneasy. He looked like he was leering. Though I liked 'attention', I didn't like being judged and looked at from head to toe.

"Nanette Stepanov, this is Dr Noel Matthews, my colleague and a good mate of mine," he said referring to the older guy who beamed at me. He stretched his hand out for a handshake. I reached out, and he shook my hands cordially. 

"Nice to meet you, Doctor..." I smiled.

"Likewise!" Noel replied.

"And this is Dr Oliver Vernon-Fullerton, the 'prodigy'" he said, turning to the handsome young man beside Noel. I forced out a smile and reluctantly shook his hand. His blue eyes leered at me as if he was 'undressing' me.

"Prodigy?" I asked, turning to both Noel and Seighart.

"He's the best amongst the resident doctors, he's about to finish his fellowship," Dr Seighart says, sounding like he was trying to get me to like Oliver.

"Oh... ok," I said, trying to sound unimpressed. I've seen and been with men like Oliver in the past- Handsome, smart. successful, but conceited. They always made me feel small, and I am sure that before this night ends, he will try to 'neg' me. "Which department?"

"Neurology... Seighart is the Neurosurgeon, Matthews is the Neurologist, and I'm a  Neurotologist." Oliver's mouth curved in a wry grin, he probably thought that I could not understand what he was saying.

"Ah, I see... you were an ENT then..."

Oliver's face looked a little bit like he was taken aback. "Oh... so you know what a Neurotologist is?" he sounded as if I was a dumb girl. I find it a little insulting, you don't expect everyone to know what a Neurotologist is.

"Well... yes, surprisingly."

"So tell me about yourself, Nans?" Noel said, quickly diverting the topic to something else, to avoid tension. He must've noticed my frown at  Oliver's comment.

"Oh... that, I'm sorry I do not know where to start..." I said sheepishly. "You can ask me anything"

"How do you know Seighart?" Oliver began. Seighart and Noel raised their eyebrows at Oliver, as he began his interrogation. 

And because I knew that I would be frowned upon if it is made known that I am Seighart's patient, I chose to utter a white lie. 

"Through a common friend, Dr Hartmann..." I said politely, not responding to his rudeness.

Seighart and Matthews smiled and leant back, watching me trying to fend off Oliver's negging tactics and advances. If Oliver thought I would respond to his meanness, well, he is so wrong.

"So what do you do Ms Stepanov?" 

"I'm a Paralegal for Nielsen and Kingsley Law," I mentioned, referring to one of the top law firms in London. "I'm under Basil Kingsley's team..." I added proudly, not everyone is chosen to be under formidable lawyer's team. After all, a crucial part of a lawyer's success is his or her paralegal. I have accompanied him and his team throughout every challenge and trial. It was also a plus that I can work well with this team.

"Ah, I see you're a glorified secretary then..." Oliver blurted out, almost throwing me off balance. How dare he call me a 'glorified secretary'. There was nothing wrong with being a 'secretary' as long as you're doing an honourable job, but the way he said it irked me. That conceited smile of his was beginning to annoy me.

I refused to lose and replied calmly. "No Oliver, there's a big difference between a paralegal and a secretary.  Paralegals prepare lawyers for trial and do research, writing and documentation. Whereas secretaries do scheduling, filing, organising and customer service."

"I really see no difference... what can a paralegal do that a mere secretary could not?" he insists.

"Well, a Paralegal is trained to specialise on legal research and writing. We are authorised to manage a caseload under the eye of a lawyer. We do substantive legal work, whilst a secretary assists the office with organising, filling and scheduling and customer service. " I emphasised, hoping that it was clear enough for him to understand.

"Whatever you say..." Oliver said in a nonchalant way, pissing me off further. He sounded dismissive and condescending. But like what Dr Hartmann had thought me, I must stand up for myself.

"Ooohh, clever. How long did it take to come up with that?" I retorted, causing him to raise his eyebrows.

However, before a verbal battle could even begin, Seighart and Matthews immediately interjected, changing the topic.

"Do you play pool Nans?" Matthews said, pointing to the pool tables at one corner of the bar. 

"Uhhmmm... no, but I don't mind watching" I replied, as Matthews and Seighart began to arrange the green table.

"So what are you doing here?" I asked Seighart, as I looked around. This place was far from where the hospital was located. It was more likely for them to spend their Friday evenings at the CBD.

"Shift ended, decided to drink here... I like it here, it's not so crowded, and you?"

I smiled, thinking of whether I should tell him or not. He doesn't look like some sort of stalker anyways. In a soft voice, I said: "I live nearby... just a few streets away..."

"Wow... that's very convenient!" he said, a little surprised. "A quaint bar near your home, and a twenty-four-hour eatery!" he said, referring to the eatery nearby.

"I know, but travelling back to the city is hard during the rush hours... Sometimes it's hard... but I prefer living here..." I said referring to my residence that was on the outskirts of the city. It was quiet and peaceful, away from the noise of the city.

"I see... I mean who wouldn't like it here? craft beer on tap and a lake nearby?!" he mentioned, as he examined the pool table.

I watched the first round of the game, and it was a close call between the three of them. When I wanted to take a breather, I ordered a pint of beer and excused myself outside. 

I saw Oliver's eyes followed me as I walked out, but he made not attempt to get up and go after me, as his attention went back to the game. Thank goodness!

I sat on one of the small tables outside. Luckily there was one left, as the bar was starting to get full with its patrons. I saw some neighbours pass by and I gave a wave to greet them. 

"You know, it's better inside. Come back in and play pool with us." a familiar voice said.

I turned around and found the hair on my back stand. It was Oliver, smiling down at me. He pulls the chair adjacent me and sits on it. I took this as my cue and placed my pursed underneath my arm. 

"Wait... where are you going?" he asked playfully, tugging my wrist. Anger rose within me. I looked around anxiously, thinking of a way to escape this man. Perhaps he had too much to drink which is why he is acting like a jerk.

"Home... I feel sleepy. I'll just tell them and I'll go off..." I said calmly, motioning for Seighart and Noel inside.

Before I could walk off, he tugs my wrist once more, preventing me from walking away. "Can I send you home?" he says suggestively.

"Uhhmmm... no..." I said, before turning around. However, he still hasn't let go of my wrist. Some people began to worry about whether they should help, or let me handle it.

"You think too highly of yourself, don't you Nans?" he began, another conceited smile forming on his lips.

"Oh! so I'm the one who thinks highly of myself now? let me remind you, doctor, you're the one who has been insulting me throughout the night" I said, gritting my teeth.

He walked towards me, closing the gap between us. "Oh, Nannette... you may speak and have the manners of the Queen, or dress like the Duchess. But I know, underneath all of that, you're still a **whore** that you are..." he whispered.

I was taken aback with what he said. I was speechless for a moment, as I didn't know how to respond to that. He just uttered a grave insult towards me, and I felt my blood boil. I wanted to smack him in the face right then and there! But there were people watching. "You are offensive! How dare you accuse me of such thing! How dare you label me! You don't even know me!" I said in all seriousness.

"Really? I don't?! How about Ethan?" he said, as I almost lost my balance. How does he even know my ex?! 

"H-h-how..."

"I'm disappointed that you don't even remember me, Nans..." he smiled. "Try again..."

I tried to search him, from my memories. My eyes widened upon realising who he was. "Y-y-you... you're Ethan's half-brother!"

"Correct!" he threw his head back laughing. "I am sad that you didn't even bother to remember my name..." he shook his head. "Oh... you were such a vindictive girl..." he said, as he ran his thumb along my bottom lip.

I smacked his hands away from me and said "Your brother used me and manipulated me, before discarding me like trash. He deserved it! You're just as terrible as him"

"And what did you do to get revenge?" he said slyly, trying to remind me of something I didn't really want to remember. Though I didn't regret doing it, I just didn't want to be reminded of it. I didn't expect that it would haunt me once again.

"That was a one-time thing... we both got what we wanted. There is no point digging up the past." 

"Of course there is... if not for you, there would have been no rift in the family." he said darkly.

"Excuse me?! me?! you're blaming me for that! Please, that family of yours deserved it! For everything they did to me!" I controlled myself from shouting and making a scene. I almost wanted to tear up remembering what Ethan's family did, and how I was treated. Oh... they were all the same. But I won't give Oliver that satisfaction of seeing me cry. 

"So I guess you're still that vindictive slut that you are, sleeping to get revenge... sleeping around with anyone who'd give you the attention you crave."

"What I was yesterday, is not who I am today!" I said and held my head up high. "So if you do not want to embarrass yourself, please let go of me..." I warned.

The only reply he managed was a chuckle. I was getting my palms ready to slap him. But before I could even do that, Seighart and Matthews came rushing out of the door.

"Woah.... woah... woah... no fighting!" Seighart said, pulling me and Oliver apart before a fight could occur. The way Oliver looked at me says that he wouldn't hesitate to hurt me.  Matthews pulls Oliver on the other side and apologises to me.

"You have to forgive him, I think he had too much to drink..." Matthews said apologetically.

"And he's a self-entitled brat. Not used to rejection..." Seighart added.

"Oh, I'm sure you both are right... I'm sure he is..."  I said as I glared at Oliver's direction. "Well... it was nice meeting you both..." I said to both Seighart and Matthews. "I sure do hope the next time I see you, there's no self-entitled brat around." 

Matthews chuckled and Seighart shook his head.

"At least let Sieghart send you home..." Matthews offered.

I replied with a nod and Seighart accompanied me out of the vicinity, and into streets, with rows full of houses.

 

 **A/N:** I might do some soft editing, as I might have made grammatical errors. More will be revealed later on, about Nannette's past.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Chapter 6! We will talk about Nannette's past!

OFC- Nanette Marchesi Stepanov  
The Psychiatrist (Dr.Hartmann) - Hugh Dancy  
The Stranger - Tom Hiddleston  
The Neurologist (Dr. Seighart) - Mads Mikkelsen  
 Dr Oliver Vernon-Fullerton - Henry Cavill  

_**SIX  
The Past** _

"Do you want a night cap?" I offered to Seighart. It was the least I could do, to thank him for walking me home. 

Seighart smiled, as the lift reached the floor of where my apartment is. "Sure, thanks..." he replied.

I dug in for my keys inside my purse, and once I found it, I wasted no time to open the door of my apartment. "Make yourself at home..." I told him, as I threw the keys on the nearby ceramic bowl.

"You have a very nice place! Chic and elegant!" he says, whilst looking around, admiring the interior of my small apartment. I've worked hard for the past few years, and this humble residence of mine was one of its fruits.

"Thanks..." I smiled, as I headed to the kitchen to make a cup of hot chocolate. 

He sat down on one of the stools and watched me as I boiled the small kettle. "What did Oliver say to you, for it to escalate that way?" he asked, curiosity was there. "I don't really take you as someone who'd pick a fight without a reason."

I smiled and turned around to wash the cups. I debated within myself whether to tell him or not. Usually, when I tell men about my past and the misdeeds I've done, they'd start seeing me in a different light. Some would see me as a promiscuous woman, an easy lay. They would immediately seduce me and take me to bed, only to leave after. While others will start avoiding me and keep me at arm's length. Not wanting to get involved with a vindictive woman like me.

I looked at him and pondered for a moment. I suddenly realise that I didn't know his first name.  Perhaps it was for the better. I didn't plan on getting 'close' to him anyways. It was then that I decided to tell him my deep dark secret.

"Nothing much, just a feud between me and his brother that happened in the past..." I replied nonchalantly, watching his reaction. He cocked an eyebrow, curious at what was that 'feud' I was talking about. I didn't add any details, in fact, I was waiting for him to ask me himself.

"A feud?" he smiles wryly. "That means you knew who Oliver was from the beginning?!" he said, referring to what happened earlier.

"I didn't know that Ethan's brother was named Oliver..." I said, referring to my ex. I grabbed the piping hot kettle and turned off the stove. I poured the hot water into a dark porcelain cup and mixed it with hot cocoa, before handing it to him.

Seighart chuckles. "Sounds like you couldn't care, perhaps that's why it irked him. Forgive that boy, he's not used to rejection." he takes the cup and takes a sip. "Thank you..."

"I know... I can't blame him though, anyone would be so offended if you don't remember their name or how they looked like, after sleeping with them..." I said nonchalantly.

His eyes widened in disbelief and almost choked on his drink. He probably couldn't believe everything that I've just said. He must be wondering now- why am I telling him something so sensitive?

He sits there, still taken aback with what I've just revealed. He looked liked he wanted me to continue with my 'story'. So I obliged, without him asking.

"Well, it's just a typical story of a vindictive girl. His brother broke up with me and his family treated me like trash. I retaliated by sleeping with his brother, who I sadly didn't remember the name." I said as if it was nothing.

"Are you toying with a drunk man?" he says, thinking that whatever I said was a joke.

"Nope... I hardly believe that a few pints of beer can get you drunk at all..." I mentioned.

A faint smile appears on his lips, as he took another sip from the cup. "Why are you telling me this?"

I smiled and said "I don't know, perhaps it's the beer that's giving me the courage? perhaps, to see a reaction out of you? or perhaps I just needed to let it out? My appointment with Dr Hartmann isn't until next week" I blurted out.

He chortles and drinks the whole cup in one go. I looked at him and guessed that he probably felt repulsed with what I've said. Who wouldn't? I just revealed my past mistakes to him. I smiled to myself, thinking that this is much better. At least now have a reason to like him a little less.

He puts down the cup, and what he says next, catches me off-guard. " You know Nans, you shouldn't judge yourself by your past... you don't live there anymore. "

I stared at the man and blinked at him. I expected him to give an excuse to leave, and yet here he was, telling me something out of a motivational poster.

"You may not have told me the full extent of the incident. But don't worry, I am not judging you. We all have reasons for doing such things. But no matter how dirty is your past, it shouldn't hurt your future. It doesn't deserve the punishment. Don't let your past mistakes dictate who you are, but let it be a lesson that strengthens the person you'll become."

"I..." I was lost for words. "T-thanks... I guess?"

He laughs as he handed back the empty cup. "Do you have a bottle of water?"

"Uhhmmm yes... will sparkling water do?" I said referring to the bottles of _San Pellegrino_ in my fridge. They often said that it's good to drink sparkling water after drinking alcohol, to avoid getting a hangover in the morning.

"Even better..." was his reply.

I take out one bottle and hand it to him. I looked at the clock that hung on the wall and seeing that it was late, I wanted my space. However, I didn't want to just kick him out of the house because it seemed rude. 

"It's getting late... I should get going..." he says, standing up from the stool. I was relieved with what he had just said. At least I didn't have to worry about telling him to leave without appearing rude.

"Do you want me to call you a hackney?" I offered.

"No, it's alright... I still have to go back for  Noel and Oliver." 

"Alright then, let me walk you through the door..." I said as I went ahead of him. I turned the knob and push the door wide open.

"Don't forget to turn up for your doctor's appointment..." he says, reminding me of the scheduled appointment I have, a day from now.

"Oh... yes of course..." I said, as he gave me a quick smile before turning around and walking away towards the elevator.

**********

I have a feeling this story isn't going to win me sympathy. It certainly doesn't reflect one of my finer moments as a friend, ex-girlfriend, or a decent person with a decent sense of compassion and empathy. In fact, what I did was downright ugly. Yet, I did not regret any of it.

Sex doesn't always have to be about an intimate connection, a genuine showing of affection, or even a carnal expression of desires. At least not when it's revenge sex.

Let me start at the beginning. Before Tyrone came to my life, there was Ethan. 

Ethan and his half-brother whom I only knew by face then, now  I know is named 'Oliver, spent the best days of their adolescence together. As teenage boys, they competed over everything. During sixth form one moved to Radley and then the other to Tonbridge.

They both earned and live a high standard of living working in distinguished jobs. While Ethan is a hedge-fund manager, all I knew that Oliver is a doctor. But while my 'ex' was dating me, Oliver was single and partied non-stop. 

I'd occasionally come to join their family for awkward functions, where they make veiled insults and condescending comments, disguised as 'curiosity'. Oliver, who I didn't bother to learn his name or get to know then, was kind enough to change the topic to something else. 

Fast forward to the break-up. I found out that Ethan left me for the same reason that Tyrone (my current ex) did. He cheated on me and looked for someone 'better'.  He broke up with me on the basis of my 'lack' of good credentials, success and good family background. Despite that, Ethan claimed that he still cared for me and wanted us to be friends. I didn't believe him though. I knew he was only saying that out of 'courtesy'.

I was heartbroken and bitter. I spent a good few months not eating, sleeping or really going anywhere. I mostly buried myself in work and went straight home to bawl my eyes out in crying. I kept asking myself if I was even good enough. The answer to it was painful and I couldn't accept it. 

I spent some of my nights searching for validation trough lip locking with strangers in the back of a dark crowded bar. I would seduce them, tease them, and walk off afterwards, knowing that I was the winner in the mind game I played. However, it still left me empty and insecure after, knowing that I couldn't keep the facade and that I couldn't keep a man or make him commit, especially once they found out that I didn't have enough 'substance'.

Then one evening, I saw my ex's brother, Oliver, in the bar.  I knew I was looking for trouble the moment I sat down next to him. I only recognise him by face then and didn't bother to learn his name. In fact, despite joining some of his family functions, Ethan never really introduced me to his family 'properly' as a girlfriend. Though I'm sure they knew I was his girlfriend, they strongly made it known that they were not interested and that I didn't have their approval.

Something sinister crossed my mind that night. I knew Ethan still wanted me in a way, especially with the way he looked at me when we accidentally bump into each other at times. Or the way he asked if I was dating someone new. What irked me during those encounters, was the woman he brought along: his new girlfriend. It was as if he was trying to rub into my face that he has moved on and here I was, still stuck in my sadness, unable to move on. Something inside of me snapped. I wanted to hurt Ethan, I wanted to hurt his family who had mistreated me, and what better way to do it is to hit close to home.

The minute I sat next to Oliver, I knew it was on. I drank with him, laughed with him and seduced him. He knew me by name, which was surprising, but then again, I didn't bother to learn his. His arm found its way around my waist and before either of us knew it, we were inside a Hackney, headed to his place that Ethan sometimes visited. I knew this little detail and used it for my sinister plan.

Once we arrived, he picked me up and carried me into his room, tearing our clothes off.  That night we had amazingly hot sex numerous times and neither of us seemed to tire. There was no talking and cuddling in between rounds.

The next morning I woke up hearing a loud knock on his bedroom door. I slowly got up, guessing who it was. Once I opened it, I knew my guess was right the moment I saw Ethan. His mouth hung agape upon seeing me covered in nothing but bed Oliver's bed sheets. I pretended to be shocked, and Oliver soon woke up once he heard me scream. I smiled inwardly upon seeing Ethan's hurt expression. A fight ensued between the siblings and I quickly left without them noticing. I received a number of angry text and numerous miscalls, all coming from Ethan after that incident. I was happy upon learning that I've hurt him. I quickly moved on with my life after that, but I never knew that my misdeed will haunt me up to this day. I didn't expect to bump into Oliver and getting confronted by him. 

I sigh, as I leant back against my chair. I wish I won't have to see Oliver again, I don't want him to be the reason why I won't turn up for appointments in the hospital. I made a mental note to myself to avoid him the best I can.

 **A/N:** Hi guys, I'll do some soft editing, as I might have made some grammatical errors. Also, take note that I will try to fix the holes in the story later.

 


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